Majestic Ignorance

ughhh I can’t get anything done on all this medication

You seem quite nice for a girl with good looks
And I’m the kinda fellow that’ll make you feel better when your life gets shook
So give it a chance according to your plans
I bet I’m not number one on your list to kiss, but please understand

You seem quite shy, but you’re oh so cute
And I’m the kind of girl that would love to be yours if you asked me to
So just take a chance, try to hold my hand
I swear I’d never let go
Just let me know if you’d be my man

I really want to come out and tell you
Oh darling, I love you so
If you’d ask me for my heart, there’s no way that I’ll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze
You seem quite right for a boy like me
And I wanna know would you treat me well
Would you treat me like a queen
Cause I’d like to show you and make you see
That although we’re different type
We were meant to be

I really want to come out and tell you
Oh darling, I love you so
If you’d ask me for my heart, there’s no way that I’ll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

So I gotta ask you,
I can’t be afraid
I gotta take a chance at love
So what do you say

I really want to come out and tell you
Oh darling, I love you so
If you’d ask me for my heart, there’s no way that I’ll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

Oh darling, I love you so
If you’d ask me for my heart, there’s no way that I’ll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

ALSO, today is one of those days where I could REALLY go for a cigarette

today my friend told me that having a baby is the equivalent to shoving a softball down your throat pain/space wise …EW

I hate this week. I hate this week. I hate this week. If this was the one week of the year I could skip over I would.

It’s weird seeing how people change as they become adults.

I had a tough week last week. By the end of the week I was so emotionally exhausted that the only place I wanted to be was home. I felt like I had a thousand people and things pulling me in a thousand different directions and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was going insane and I would’ve run home if I could.

Let me explain a little. Last week, my great aunt rae died. Now, I know to most people news that their great aunt died, may not be a big deal. It was expected and I really wasn’t that close to her. But my aunt rae is the last remaining sibling of my late grandmother. a whole family is dead now. wrapping my brain around this had been quite difficult around that. And funerals in general just take a toll. The viewing, the funeral, the burial, the part where you eat and talk about impersonal things like school an the weather with distant relatives.

I’ll miss my Aunt rae. and I miss my nonnie too (nonnie is the italian gma). I miss her even more than I even can comprehend. I think with time, the memory may become even more distant, but the grief becomes larger. My nonnie was amazing. She taught me how to color and how to tap dance. She was the first women in her family to go to college. She was spunky and crazy like me. She went to Jerusalem and wore shorts and tried to pray at the wailing wall all while carrying around bags of crosses (which is a BIG NO-NO). When she died, it was unexpected. It was unfair, she was young (in her sixties).

On Friday, my mother went to the doctor for a problem she was having. They immediately checked her for cancer. With all her problems with diabetes this is the last thing she needs. I’m sure it will be nothing, but I’m devasted. I’m so scared something will happen to her.

So this Halloweekend I didn’t get drunk in a corn field with 1,000 of my other college friends. I didn’t dance on a bar in Fell’s Point. I didn’t mingle with a bunch of people I didn’tknow in a friends barn.

I watched lifetime movies on a couch. I made dinner for my brothers and we watched a $5 horror movie that was incidentally in Spanish. And I loved every minute of it.

some of my friends told me I was lame. Even the ones that didn’t say anything, I could tell they were judging me.

my momma is more important than any of them.